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As the spring sun welcomes the day, and in the coming weeks, the mercury climbs, humans engage in an age-old ritual of communal immersion that would horrify our ancestors: we willingly submerge ourselves in the same water as dozens, sometimes hundreds, of strangers. Yes, I'm talking about swimming pools, those shimmering blue rectangles of refreshment that beckon us with promises of cool relief from the sweltering heat. From municipal aquatic centers to hotel offerings to water parks with their elaborate slides and artificial waves, these chlorinated havens represent summer's most democratic institution—open to all who can afford the modest entry fee and are willing to expose their winter-pale bodies to public scrutiny and their nether regions to a chemical soup of questionable origin.
Yet beneath the surface of this seemingly innocent pastime lurks a dark reality that most swimmers actively repress, a truth so disturbing that pool managers address it only in hushed tones and clinical language. I speak of the universal yet rarely acknowledged phenomenon of poop in pools. Today's episode tackles the taboo topic of fecal contamination in our shared aquatic playgrounds. While last time we explored the fascinating world of portable toilets, this time we're examining what happens when nature calls, and proper facilities are either unavailable, inconvenient, or simply ignored in favor of the "just go in the water" approach that turns swimming pools into humanity's largest communal toilet.
As your trusted scatological correspondent, I feel duty-bound to illuminate this murky subject with the bright light of scientific inquiry. Though we may cringe, understanding pool contamination is essential to public health and safety. So grab your metaphorical nose clips, steel your stomachs, and prepare for the unsettling reality of what's really happening in that community pool. The water may look inviting, but what lurks beneath may forever change how you view that refreshing plunge—and explain why your eyes are red and burning after a day at the pool (spoiler alert: it's not the chlorine, it's what the chlorine is battling).
The Uncomfortable Truth: Swimming in a Soup of Strangers
The infamous Baby Ruth pool scene from the 1980 comedy "Caddyshack" launched a thousand pranksters, with mischief-makers across America tossing chocolate bars into pools to recreate the panic of swimmers fleeing what they believe to be "doodie." However, pool managers and lifeguards know all too well that while Caddyshack made the chocolate bar prank famous, actual fecal incidents in public pools are surprisingly common and far less amusing. Unlike the movie's harmless candy bar that Bill Murray's character comically retrieves and eats, real fecal contamination requires immediate pool evacuation, disinfection protocols, and sometimes pool closure for up to 24 hours.
Let's begin with the stomach-churning reality that scientists and pool maintenance professionals have long acknowledged: public pools contain alarming amounts of human waste. According to research highlighted by Popular Science, up to 10 grams of fecal matter can wash off a single child's body when they enter a pool. In perspective, 10 grams is approximately the weight of two nickels—a seemingly insignificant amount until you multiply it by dozens or hundreds of swimmers on a hot summer day. Suddenly, that refreshing dip seems more like a baptism in a bacterial buffet.
This fecal matter isn't necessarily the result of the dreaded "Code Brown" emergency (though those certainly occur with disturbing frequency). Instead, it's imperfect hygiene because microscopic feces particles cling to unwashed bodies and make their way into the shared water, creating an invisible soup of bacterial contributions from every swimmer. Think of it as a potluck where nobody wants to sample the dishes, yet everyone is inevitably consuming tiny portions of each offering.
And let's not forget urine, that warm, invisible companion to every public pool experience. Despite stern warnings and threatening signs, approximately 17% of Americans freely admit to urinating in public pools, according to Popular Science. Given that this figure represents only those brave enough to confess, the percentage is undoubtedly much higher. One competitive swimmer famously remarked, "There are two types of people in this world: those who pee in pools and those who lie about peeing in pools." That suspiciously warm spot you just swam through? It wasn't a random current of sun-heated water. Little Timmy's contribution to the communal experience is a liquid gift that keeps giving as it combines with chlorine to form those eye-irritating compounds we'll discuss later.
The result is a communal bath of bodily fluids that would gross most of us out. Yet, the typical swimmer exists in a state of willful ignorance, choosing to believe in the magical purifying power of chlorine rather than confront the unsettling reality of what they're soaking in.
The Pool Poopocalypse: When Accidents Happen
While the background level of fecal contamination is troubling enough, the issues occur when a child still mastering the finer points of bowel control has an accident in the water. These incidents range from the relatively contained "formed stool incident" (a solid mass that can be removed with a net, much like fishing for the world's most disgusting prize) to the catastrophic "diarrheal event" (a dispersed cloud of liquid waste that effectively contaminates the entire pool in a horrifying reenactment of a disaster movie, but with poop instead of a tsunami).
Such incidents are surprisingly common. In July 2024, the Sellwood Outdoor Pool in Portland, Oregon, was forced to close during a scorching heat wave after someone defecated in the water. As Kellie Torres, chief of staff for Portland's Vibrant Communities service area, explained with remarkable understatement to The Oregonian: "Unfortunately, when somebody poops in the pool, you have to close it for 24 hours." This closure and other pool shutdowns due to mechanical issues left Portland residents with significantly fewer options for relief during triple-digit temperatures. This public health consequence extends beyond the immediate disgust factor. Imagine the irony: it's so hot you'd kill for a swim, but you can't because someone already killed the pool with their bowels.
Even more disturbing are cases of deliberate contamination. In August 2024, Halton Regional Police arrested a 33-year-old woman who allegedly contaminated public pools in Milton, Canada, with feces and, bizarrely, chocolate bars. According to police reports published in the Toronto Sun, this woman repeatedly polluted pools at the Milton Sports Centre and Milton Leisure Centre during public swims, forcing extended closures, disrupting aquatic programming, and incurring significant costs for the municipality. The chocolate bars add a particularly sadistic twist to this tale—creating a "is it or isn't it?" guessing game nobody wants to play. "Is that a Baby Ruth? Oh dear God, no!" While chocolate bars might seem like a juvenile prank, the deliberate introduction of fecal matter represents a serious public health threat and criminal act—Big Chocolate’s finest notwithstanding.
These accidental and intentional incidents illustrate the vulnerability of public pools to contamination and the substantial disruption that results. A single "Code Brown" can force hundreds of disappointed swimmers out of the water and require extensive decontamination. In economic terms, pool closures mean lost revenue, wasted chemicals, and staff time dedicated to cleanup rather than standard operations. The dreaded announcement, "Attention all swimmers, please exit the pool immediately," followed by the sight of a staff member approaching with a net, is the aquatic equivalent of a record scratch at a party. Everyone knows the fun has come to an abrupt and undignified end.
The Chlorine Conundrum: Not the Magic Shield You Think It Is
Many swimmers take comfort in the strong smell of chlorine, interpreting it as evidence that the pool is clean and disinfected. That strong "chlorine" odor indicates the presence of chloramines—chemical compounds formed when chlorine combines with contaminants like sweat, urine, and fecal matter. In other words, the stronger the "chlorine" smell, the more contaminated the pool is likely to be, according to HuffPost's report on swimming pool health risks. That "clean" pool smell you love? It's the olfactory evidence of a chemical warfare zone where chlorine is desperately battling bodily fluids—and not necessarily winning.
True chlorine disinfection happens silently and odorlessly, slowly killing most bacteria and viruses in the water. But here's the uncomfortable reality that shakes the foundation of our pool confidence: chlorine doesn't kill everything, and it doesn't kill anything instantly. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), different pathogens require different exposure times to be neutralized by standard chlorine concentrations:
E. coli bacteria: Less than 1 minute (the sprinter of the bacterial world) Hepatitis A virus: About 16 minutes (enough time to do a few laps) Giardia parasite: About 45 minutes (longer than most people's entire pool visit) Cryptosporidium parasite: Approximately 15,300 minutes or 10.6 days (it could complete a bachelor's degree in the time it takes chlorine to kill it)
That last figure deserves particular attention. Cryptosporidium, commonly known as "Crypto" (and no, not the financial kind that might also be underwater these days), is a microscopic parasite protected by an outer shell that makes cockroaches look fragile. This resilient little beast can survive outside the body for extended periods, making chlorine look as effective as squirt gun against a forest fire. A single diarrheal incident containing Crypto can contaminate an entire pool for over a week, even with proper chlorine levels. According to the CDC's data on pool contamination response, this persistent pathogen has become the leading cause of pool-related disease outbreaks. It's the aquatic version of that houseguest who just won't leave, no matter how many hints you drop.
The CDC reports that Cryptosporidium outbreaks have increased by approximately 13% annually from 2009 to 2017, with pools and water parks responsible for about 35% of those outbreaks. A disturbing fact from Popular Science: one "diarrheal incident" can release 10 to 100 million Cryptosporidium oocytes into the water, and swallowing just a few of these microscopic eggs can cause infection. I'm no mathematician, but that's a lot of potential illness floating around in a single unauthorized deposit.
This explains why public pools follow strict protocols when fecal incidents occur. A formed stool incident, while disgusting, poses a relatively lower risk because most pathogens remain contained within the solid waste—it's like the difference between a leaking container of toxic waste and an explosion at a toxic waste factory. These incidents typically require removing the waste, temporarily raising chlorine levels, and waiting 30 minutes before reopening. A diarrheal incident, however, represents a potential Cryptosporidium contamination event and mandates much more aggressive treatment—potentially including "hyperchlorination" (raising free chlorine to extremely high levels that would make your eyes water from 50 feet away) for extended periods or even completely draining and refilling the pool. It's the aquatic equivalent of a nuclear option: when in doubt, burn it all down and start over.
The Dreadful Consequences: Pool-Related Illnesses
Despite disinfectants, swimming in contaminated pool water can lead to various illnesses, most commonly categorized as recreational water illnesses (RWIs)—perhaps the least recreational-sounding sickness category ever created. According to HuffPost's health reporting, the most frequent is diarrhea, caused by swallowing water contaminated with pathogens like Cryptosporidium, Giardia, Shigella, norovirus, or E. coli. Yes, the very thing that contaminated the pool in the first place can become a self-perpetuating cycle of gastrointestinal distress—a disgusting ouroboros of cause and effect.
Symptoms vary depending on the specific pathogen but typically include diarrhea, stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, and fever—essentially transforming your body into a biological fountain that might qualify for installation in Las Vegas. For healthy adults, these infections are usually uncomfortable but self-limiting. For vulnerable populations like young children, elderly individuals, pregnant women, and those with compromised immune systems, pool-related infections can become serious or even life-threatening.
Beyond gastrointestinal issues, swimmers may also experience other health problems. As reported by the CDC and summarized by HuffPost, these can include Swimmer's Ear, an outer ear canal infection caused by water remaining in the ear after swimming, creating a moist environment perfect for bacterial growth. Symptoms include ear pain, itchiness, redness, and drainage from the ear—none of which are likely to win you popularity points at your next social gathering.
Skin rashes are another common complaint, often caused by chemicals in the water, particularly those aforementioned chloramines. When chlorine combines with sweat, urine, and other contaminants, it forms irritants that can cause skin reactions ranging from mild itchiness to more severe rashes that make you look like you've been hugging a cactus. These same chemical compounds can cause respiratory issues, with swimmers sometimes experiencing nasal irritation, coughing, and wheezing—particularly problematic for individuals with asthma or other respiratory conditions.
The familiar "red, burning eyes" often blamed on chlorine are caused by those same chloramines formed when chlorine combines with bodily wastes, according to CDC information cited by Popular Science and HuffPost. So the next time a child complains about stinging eyes after swimming, you can cheerfully inform them it's not the chlorine—it's the pee! Properly maintained pools with the right chemical balance should cause minimal eye irritation. Still, since about eight out of ten public pool inspections find serious health code violations, according to the CDC, your bloodshot eyes are essentially a visual indicator of how many people treated the pool like a toilet that day.
The Protocol: What Happens When Poop Happens
When a fecal incident occurs in a public pool, staff follows established protocols developed by health departments and the CDC. These procedures differ depending on whether the incident involves formed stool or diarrhea—yes, there's an official poop classification system for pools, in case you were wondering about career options in public health.
According to the CDC's official guidelines for pool contamination response, formed stool incidents require clearing all swimmers from the pool immediately (cue the disappointed groans and occasional complaints from people who don't mind swimming with feces). Staff then remove the fecal matter using a net or bucket (never vacuum it, which could break it apart and spread contamination in a horror-movie scenario of fecal proportions) and clean and disinfect the removal equipment. The free chlorine concentration is raised to at least 2 parts per million (ppm) with pH maintained at 7.5 or lower for 30 minutes. After verifying that the filtration system is operating properly, the pool can reopen once these steps are completed and documented. The whole process takes about as long as an episode of a TV drama, which is appropriate given the dramatic circumstances.
For a diarrheal incident, the process becomes much more intensive—think of it as moving from a minor inconvenience to DEFCON 1 in pool management terms. The CDC recommends first clearing all swimmers from the pool and removing as much visible waste as possible, which is about as pleasant as it sounds. For public pools, the venue must close for extensive disinfection. This typically involves raising the chlorine concentration to extremely high levels (often 10-20 ppm) and maintaining it for 12.75 hours or longer—a process called hyperchlorination specifically designed to kill Cryptosporidium. Staff must maintain proper pH levels throughout the process and ensure thorough circulation of the treated water. Once complete, chlorine levels must return to normal ranges (1-3 ppm) before reopening, and the entire process must be documented in a water contamination response log, which must be a thrilling read for pool inspectors.
Hot tubs present their own challenges due to their smaller water volume and higher temperatures, which create the perfect hot broth for bacteria to thrive if contaminated. When contamination occurs in a hot tub, the CDC recommends draining it completely, scrubbing all surfaces, cleaning or replacing filter media, and refilling with fresh water before disinfecting and reopening—a time-consuming and costly process.
The economic impact of these closures can be substantial. Beyond lost revenue from admission fees, facilities incur costs for additional chemicals, staff time dedicated to clean-up, and potential refunds to disappointed patrons. For municipal pools operating on tight budgets, repeated contamination incidents can strain resources and even lead to extended closures if they occur frequently enough. It turns out that poop isn't just disgusting—it's expensive. Who knew?
Prevention: Keeping the Poop Where It Belongs
While we can't eliminate the risk of pool contamination (that microscopic fecal matter will always be there, folks, much like those persistent family members who show up uninvited for holidays), we can significantly reduce the occurrence of major incidents through sensible precautions, the CDC and health experts quoted by HuffPost recommend taking a quick one-minute shower before entering the pool. This simple step removes most of the dirt, sweat, and, yes, fecal particles from your body. This reduces the chlorine demand and helps maintain water quality. Yet surveys show that most swimmers skip this crucial step, simultaneously treating the pool as both a bath and recreational facility. Next time you're tempted to bypass those pre-pool showers, remember that you're preserving your dignity and protecting the entire community's shared aquatic experience from your brand of bacterial seasoning.
According to pool safety experts, parents should ensure children take frequent bathroom breaks, ideally every 30-60 minutes. The "Do you need to go?" reminder may elicit eye-rolls from kids. Still, it's far better than the alternative—being that parent whose child shuts down the entire facility for the day, earning you the kind of community recognition nobody wants. Children often become so engrossed in play that they ignore their body's signals until it's too late, making regular prompting essential preventive medicine. Think of it as vaccination against public humiliation and potential banishment from your local pool.
The CDC's healthy swimming guidelines emphasize that anyone experiencing diarrhea should avoid swimming entirely. Those diagnosed with Cryptosporidium should wait at least two weeks after symptoms resolve before returning to the pool. This recommendation is frequently ignored, particularly by parents unwilling to disappoint children with canceled pool plans. Yet the decision to swim while recovering from a gastrointestinal illness isn't merely a personal risk—it potentially exposes hundreds of others to infection. Your child's desire to try the water slide isn't more important than keeping fifty other children out of the emergency room with dehydration.
The Final Plunge: To Swim or Not to Swim?
Given the unappetizing realities we've explored, you might swear off public pools forever in favor of a personal hazmat suit and a kiddie pool in your backyard. Before you do, consider that swimming offers numerous health benefits: cardiovascular exercise, joint-friendly resistance training, stress reduction, and a welcome cooling effect during heat waves. According to Popular Science's analysis of CDC data, the risk of serious illness from properly maintained pools remains relatively low for healthy individuals. It's like airline travel—statistically very safe, even if your brain focuses on the catastrophic worst-case scenario.
Swimming, like many activities, involves a calculated risk-benefit analysis. The activity's physical and mental health benefits generally balance the microscopic threats lurking in the water. With proper precautions—showering before entering, avoiding swallowing water (it's not a drinking fountain, people), allowing water to drain completely from ears, using ear plugs, and reporting any issues to pool staff—most of us can enjoy swimming with minimal health concerns beyond the occasional nightmare about swimming in a toilet bowl.
For parents, the calculus is slightly different. Young children, especially those still mastering toilet skills, remain both the primary victims and vectors of pool-related illnesses. They're more likely to swallow water (sometimes intentionally because kids are weird), less likely to maintain proper hygiene, and physiologically more vulnerable to infections than adults. Extra vigilance with children is warranted while still allowing them to enjoy the developmental benefits of swimming. Consider it practice for when they're teenagers, and you'll need even more vigilance for entirely different reasons.
Perhaps the most appropriate approach is informed realism. Like all shared spaces, public pools involve convenience, enjoyment, and hygiene compromises. They are not sterile environments, nor should we expect them to be. They are, however, generally safe when properly maintained and used responsibly. The fecal matter will always be there at some microscopic level—as it is on shopping cart handles, restaurant menus, and smartphone screens—but with proper precautions, it needn't ruin your summer fun. After all, what's a little E. coli between friends?
So, as you contemplate that refreshing dive into your local pool this weekend, remember: you're not swimming alone in more ways than one. Chlorine isn't a magical shield against all contamination but rather an imperfect but generally effective tool in managing the inevitable consequences of humans being humans. Shower before you swim, don't swallow the water, take regular bathroom breaks, and never swim if you're experiencing diarrhea. With these simple precautions, you can minimize your contribution to the problem and your risk of becoming a statistic in next year's CDC report on recreational water illnesses.
After all, life is full of calculated risks. The bacteria in that pool water might make you sick, but the joy of a perfect cannonball on a 95-degree day might be worth it. Don't open your mouth when you hit the water—and maybe invest in some nose plugs. And goggles. And earplugs. And waterproof footwear. Maybe that hazmat suit wasn't such a bad idea after all.
Legal & Disclaimer
This story is for informative and entertainment purposes only. No matter where you go when you gotta go, please consult a licensed doctor for all medical issues. The views expressed here are those of Mary Poopins and do not constitute medical advice.
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References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "What to Do When There is Poop in the Pool." https://www.cdc.gov/healthy-swimming/response/what-to-do-when-there-is-poop-in-the-pool.html
The Oregonian/OregonLive. Kavanaugh, S. D. July 5, 2024. "Poop shuts down Portland pool during heat wave; 4 public aquatic centers closed as city sizzles." https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2024/07/poop-shuts-down-portland-pool-during-heatwave-4-public-aquatic-centers-closed-as-city-sizzles.html
Toronto Sun. Connor, K. August 17, 2024. "Woman accused of contaminating Milton public pools with feces, chocolate bars." https://torontosun.com/news/crime/woman-accused-of-contaminating-milton-public-pools-with-feces-chocolate-bars
Popular Science. Chodosh, S. July 1, 2019. "Swimming pools are full of poop, but they probably won't make you sick." https://www.popsci.com/swimming-pools-are-gross/
HuffPost. Bourassa, S. July 3, 2024. "The 3 Most Common Illnesses You Can Catch At A Swimming Pool." https://www.huffpost.com/entry/illness-swimming-pool_l_667f0f42e4b003e0b2e00306
Mashed. Shustack, C. April 23, 2022. “Why Baby Ruth’s Caddyshack Cameo Was So Controversial.” https://www.mashed.com/841724/why-baby-ruths-caddyshack-cameo-was-so-controversial/
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